Wow, in this article, Dr. Phil nailed some of the very common and unfortunate behaviors we see parents making after divorce.
According to the article:
“Dr. Phil lists some of the biggest and most frequent mistakes post-divorce parents typically make:
- Sabotaging your child’s relationship with the other parent.
- Using your child as a pawn to “get back at” or hurt your ex.
- Using your child to gain information or to manipulate and influence your ex.
- Transferring hurt feelings and frustrations toward your ex onto your child. (You may be particularly prone to this if your child bears physical or behavioral resemblances to your ex.)
- Forcing your child to choose a side when there’s a conflict in scheduling or another planning challenge.
- Turning family events attended by both divorced parents into pressure cookers. Events that call for sensitivity include birthdays, holidays, school programs, extracurricular activities and performances.
- Depending too much on your children for companionship and support because you’re hurt and lonely and have adopted a siege mentality: “It’s us against the world.” This isn’t a healthy position for either you or your child to adopt.
- Treating your child like an adult because you’re lonely or just want help. It is inappropriate to give your child an adult job.
- Becoming so emotionally needy that your child develops feelings of guilt if he or she spends time or even wants to spend time with your ex, friends, grandparents or others.
- Converting guilt over the divorce into overindulgence when it comes to satisfying your child’s material desires.”
I can only hope parents who are (unknowingly) sabotaging their children wake up, smell the dysfunction and get the help and support they need.
Which of the above behaviors have you seen the other household exhibit? Which have you exhibited?
(Click the link at the beginning of the article to read about healthy post-divorce strategies)
© 2012 Jenna Korf All Rights Reserved