It’s not an official holiday. You might find one or two Stepmother’s Day cards at a random Hallmark store. And I heard that Walmart sells a “#1 stepmom shirt.” But other than that, it’s a day that will likely come and go without notice by most of society.
Some stepmoms couldn’t care less about Mother’s Day. They don’t feel like “mom” and have no desire to be celebrated as such.
But others dread the day. Will they be acknowledged for “mothering” their stepchildren? Will their husbands even think to celebrate them? And if not, what does that mean about their value as a stepmom?
About the kids…
Depending on your situation, the kids might not feel right celebrating you on Mother’s day. Even if they hold you in the highest regard, they may feel like they’re betraying mom if they celebrate you on her day.
I would tell you not to take it personally, but you probably will anyways. So let your family know about Stepmother’s Day, it’s a great way for the kids to be able to celebrate you without the guilt.
About the Men…
If you’re looking for acknowledgment, whether it be on Mother’s Day or Stepmother’s Day, you’re probably going to have to ask for it.
If you find yourself thinking “he should know…” then you’re setting yourself up for disappointment and setting him up for failure.
In my Stepmom Transformation Coaching Program, we talk about how single-focused men are, how they’re not mind readers and they don’t take hints. Which means your fantasy of a surprise celebration in your honor most likely won’t happen unless you’ve told him you’d like a surprise celebration on this day and at this time.
I know that doesn’t sound romantic, but most men aren’t wired to think about these things. So do everyone a favor and set your husband up for success.
All he really wants is to make you happy, so help him accomplish that and the whole family wins.
What does this day mean to you? Are you letting your worth as a woman and a stepmom be determined by the level of acknowledgment from your family? If so, I urge you to think twice. Find your value in yourself, in who you are as a person.
There are a million reasons that your family might not think to celebrate you (that’s why I suggest you remind them), but it has nothing to do with you. You’re a valuable member of your family and you’re loved.
Your footprint is evident in the new man your husband has become since meeting you and the positive light you’ve added to your stepchild’s life.
Whether you receive a card or not, those facts remain the same. As does the love your family has for you.
Happy Step/Mother’s Day, stepmoms!
What are your thoughts on Mother’s Day and Stepmother’s Day? How will you celebrate?
© 2012 Jenna Korf All Rights Reserved(photo credit:savit keawtavee)