I relate to this on so many levels. I’ve totally shut the ex out because of her crazy accusations. She and my husband have not gotten along for years (according to him they fought constantly even before they were married). She was abusive to him during their marriage and continues to try to abuse and harass him via text. However, she tells whoever will listen that the *only* reason she and my husband are not best friends is because I refuse to talk to her. It doesn’t help that my mother-in-law believes her and told my husband that maybe things would be better if I would just be friends with his ex. No thanks! The woman lacks basic self-awareness. I originally approached my relationship with her with the best of intentions. I was friendly when we met, but she was so busy reprimanding my husband (who at the time was my boyfriend) that she barely paid attention to me. Then she sent me a FB friend request, which I did not accept, because I didn’t feel comfortable being her friend after one brief meeting and because I had already seen the harassment she regularly sent to my husband via text. After that, she told my in-laws and her entire family that I was planning to take her children away from her and keep them from seeing her family on holidays. I’m not interested in inviting that type of crazy into my life.
Smith583 you and I have the same life! If it were just a bitter ex bad-mouthing us it would be bad enough, but the fact that my husband’s family has fed into it, and sides with her, and bashes him to the kids, is intolerable. It only causes confusion and loyalty issues that they can’t reconcile – when their dad’s family is trying to turn them against their dad, of course it’s messing with their heads. I can’t accept that a “loving family” would do that to the kids.
As Jenna said, we didn’t even meet until long after their breakup, but yet I am the cause of the breakup. It’d be funny if it didn’t cause so much pain for the kids.
Best advice we ever got- from counselors, ministers, police, detectives, you name it!!! When the ex is being crazy…. DO NOT ENGAGE! They are doing it to get a reaction and drag you into their nightmare. You do not have to own that. You own what you do and say. Don’t let her make you part of circus. Be proud and confident in who you are without the need to explain yourself to anyone.
See wow this makes me feel so much better. Well, better isn’t the best word. (this is a very difficult place to be. My heart goes out to all of you, really) But my position is the very same and everyone just kind of says “You’re gonna have to be friends eventually.” Um no. Like some of you, I went into it with an open mind. We are all adults here, right? Well two adults and a narcissist. That’s what no one sees. So when you spend your days texting and harassing us, saying the worst things imaginable then during the exchange (less than two hours after calling us liars, him not a father and other lovely and more graphic things) do you think we are going to be friends? Yea not really. Hug and kiss (to the kid) and a “Bye see you next week. Love you.”
I didn’t realize his family being on the ex’s side was so prevalent. Mine is just scared of making her mad so they appease her. Sick. Just sick.
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