There are way too many stepmoms who find themselves silently sobbing in a dark corner of a closet because they weren’t acknowledged on Mother’s Day. Don’t let this be you. You’re way too important to feel like you don’t matter on a day that, let’s be honest, is more about overpriced flowers than anything else. So, here are some alternatives to the ol’ hiding-in-the-closet routine.
1. Celebrate StepMother’s Day instead! Yes, there is actually a day set aside for all of you women who became moms by marrying a man with kids. It falls on the Sunday after Mother’s Day, which is May 19th this year.
Celebrating Stepmother’s Day also lets the kids off the hook from feeling like they’re betraying mom if they celebrate you on her day.
2. Be proactive: If you expect others to read your mind, you will be disappointed. You must let your husband know exactly what you want. No hinting here, ladies. Men don’t like hints, so be specific: Honey, it would mean the world to me if you helped the kids get me a card” – or whatever it is you’d like.
3. Celebrate with girlfriends. Married to man who won’t be in town or has a block against holidays? Spend the day with your girlfriends. Let them know you’re worried you might get depressed and need them to support you on this day. Celebrate with people who know and love you!
4. Celebrate yourself. Women don’t do this nearly often enough. I always say no one will treat you better than you treat yourself. So splurge. Take a spa day. Buy yourself some (overpriced) flowers. Or just enjoy a quite space with no obligations to anyone else. Acknowledge yourself for how you’ve handled the stressors of the stepfamily, for the courage you have to be apart of something that can be so difficult on some days. And for the strength to keep going.
5. Be realistic. It’s not about you. OK, so your fears were realized and the kids ignored you. This has nothing to do with you. Kids are self-centered by nature. They can still love, care about you and cherish their relationship with you and still not realize how important it was to acknowledge you. Your husband, on the other hand, should be ashamed of himself if he didn’t take this into his own hands and get you something from the kids. Especially if you followed #2!
© 2013 Jenna Korf All Rights Reserved