Sadly, this is true. I’ve just completed my master’s and am working in a private practice. Had I not been a childfree stepmom, I would not have had the true experience to understand how drastically different the blended family dynamics are. I greatly struggled with my role and I saw a so – called family specialist… and felt more like a failure in the relationship than prior to going to counseling.
I never realized there was such a need for help in this area; it’s truly a specialty.
A step parent basically needs to do the opposite of what most people believe (and what therapists are going to tell you). Life for me didn’t improve until I disengaged. Once I did that, I was respected and shown love like I deserved.
I agree 100% with this. I’ve gone to counselors, who grew up in an intact family, and who had an intact marriage, only to be given bad advice, which backfired as soon as I tried it. It would be great advice if the marriage didn’t start out broken, and you had a supportive spouse! Not sure why stepfamilies are called “blended”. They should be called a broken blend instead. It begins with trouble, the ex, step kids, attitudes, rejection, wrong expectations. There is some of that in every marriage, but times it times 50 in a “mixed” marriage/ family where you’re trying to establish new house rules and roles and your dealing with rejection, strong emotions, ex bad mouthing, kids pain from the loss of parent, etc. not an easy way to start a home.
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